The Dreaded Talk
by nerdyninjaunicorn
Summary: After witnessing the unspeakable, Lily gives Rose the dreaded Talk. Rated T for the obvious and an insane Lily Luna Potter.


A/N:** Once again, my friend and I played Truth or dare, and this is my dare! My other fic is "Ravenclaws Perfected It" so check it out people. It is a piece of pure genius.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. However. I wouldn't mind owning one of the Weasley's XD preferably Ron, Percy, Fred, maybe George, Louis, or Fred II, but I suppose I can't be too choosy.**

Now the main difference between Roseline "Rose" Octavia Wasley and Lily Luna Potter was, aside from last names, was that Lily was less sheltered than Rose. Lily having James and Albus as older brothers, simply heard all sorts of things.

Rose, on the other hand, had Ron and Hermione Weasley as parents. Aunt Hermione was practically a saint, whereas Uncle Ron was maybe one of the most awkward people on the planet. They surely didn't talk about that sort of thing, and certainly not in front of their children.

Lily didn't know how Rose had managed to make it to her fifth year without possessing this knowledge. For Merlin's sake, she was best friends with Al and Scorpius for crying out loud. Lily had found herself listening to conversations between the two of them where she wanted to go find some brain bleach afterwards.

In fact, Lily would have figured she would have known what sex was. But, it wasn't until that fateful Saturday afternoon, as Lily donned it afterward, that Rose Weasley find out what sex was.

Lily had been spending the week at her aunt and uncle's along with her brothers, so shecould spend time with her cousins. Hugo had gone to town with James and Al while Rose and Lily decided to read.

But unlike her cousin, Lily couldn't sit and read for hours on end.

"Hey, Rose, wanna go to town and meet up with the boys? I'm getting kind of bored."

Rose looked up from a very thick book "Hm? Oh, yeah, sure, we've just got to ask Mum and Dad."

Rose got up from her comfy chair and so did Lily, stretching out her long legs. "This feels good. My legs are KILLING me, not to mention my arse hurts like a mother-"

"Okay, Lily, let's keep this PG here," Rose interupted.

Lily snorted derisively. Don't get her wrong, she loved her cousin, but she was such a goody two shoes. She didn't think she'd ever heard Rose swear. Oh, wait, there was that one time Rebecca Vance was flirting with Lysander Scmander and Rose went ballistic on her. Lily had never heard the f-bomb used so many times in one sentence.

Hypocrite.

They headed into the hallway toward Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione's room. Lily wasn't worried; her ant was Puritan material here, for crying out loud.

Now the mistake Rose made here is that she opened the door without knocking.

"Hey, Mum, Dad can Lily and I-"

"Rosie, shut the the door!" Ron shouted turning around, much to Lily's horror.

"Rose, SHUT THE DOOR!" Hermione sqwacked rather shrilly.

"YES, ROSE SHUT THE BLOODY DOOR!" Lily yelled and her cousin slammed shut the door.

"Thank Merlin. Oh, my God, that was terrible. DEFINATELY a side of your father I never wanted to see," Lily shuddered as they walked back. She felt a lump in her stomach her stomach as she realized the next encounters with them would be awkward. She didn't think she'd be able to look at Ron the same way again.

"What were they doing?" Rose asked quietly.

"I really have no idea what the hell that was back there, but if I had to guess, I'm going to guess they were having sex."

"What's sex?"

Lily might've laughed had Rose not had that confused look on her face. Finally, Lily sufficed for "Are you shitting me, woman?"

Rose shook her head, making Lily bury her face into her hands.

They made they're way back to the library, where Lily hastily told her cousin to sit down. With a puzzled facial expression, Rose sat down.

Roughly around two minutes later, Lily looked up and said "Please tell me that you at least are aware of what a vagina is."

Rose screwed her eyebrows together and asked "That's a type of fish from the Jurastic Period, isn't it?"

Lily facepalmed "Oh, damn."

After that awkward conversation, Lily gulped and said "Now, please tell me you know what a penis is?"

"I'm not fully aware of what it is, exactly," Rose said in her usual manner of speaking, which included that she didn't seem fazed in the slightest "But its something guys have, isn't it? Albus and Scor talk about them time to time, and so does Hugo."

Lily winced as Rose reminded her why she stopped hanging out with Hugo. She proceeded on to THAT awkward topic.

"So what's sex?" Rose asked.

Lily, who's face was brilliant shade of vermillion, went on to THAT awkward topic.

After she finished, she said "Now, I'm going to go kill myself now. Good day."

"But I have questions!"

Of course she had questions.

"What is it you desire to know?" Lily sighed, her patience wearing thin.

"So is that how babies are made?"

"Yes."

"So when Dad turned around, was that his-"

"Yes, Rose! We are NEVER, and I repeat, never speaking of that EVER again, or I will jump from the Astronomy Tower!"

"You've been awfully suicidal all of a sudden," Rose noted with a frown.

"Yeah, well, I saw my aunt and uncle doing unspeakable things and had to give my OLDER cousin by two years the talk. ANYone would be suicidal by this point!" Lily yelled.

"Just one more question?"

"Sure," Lily said, eyes closed "Fine. What the hell. Can't be too much worse."

Famous last words.

"So when you engaged in this activity, does it always require handcuffs-"

"NO!" Lily cried out "No, you don't need the bloody fucking handcuffs."

"Lily, I have more questions," Rose said as Lily was about to leave the room.

"What? You said that was the last one!"

"Well, I changed my mind," Rose said haughtily.

"Fine. Shoot."

"Have YOU had sex?"

Lily's jaw dropped "No! I am not a slut!"

A lightbulb seemed to go off in Rose's head as she exclaimed "Oh! So THAT'S what slut means! I thought it was someone mispronouncing slot!"

Lily promptly face palmed.

**_A/N: Leave a review! Tell me what you thought! Don't favorite without reviewing!_**


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